The Sukkah Right in Front of Me



To most of you passing by it, the Sukkah will not elicit any emotions. For some, it fills them with positive feelings. But having the Sukkah put up 250 feet away from my college bedroom fills me with anguish/claustrophobia/negative flashbacks.

The Sukkah brings back some terrible feelings. It brings up the times I spent in it, feeling all alone, feeling trapped in my situation, while sitting around eating with my family the holiday Seudahs. It brings up all the weeks when I was pushed to help prepare for the holidays. It brings up the boredom I felt during the Holidays, forced by the religion to sit and do nothing, and demanded that I spend most of the holiday in Shul (synagogue) praying. It brings the days when I was terrified of god, fearing that he will kill me because I accidentally turned on the lights.

It brings up all my other memories of the religion too. It brings up the fact that this religion told me to rather commit suicide than attend college. It brings up the fact that this religion bans my parents from supporting me because then they will be helping do something that I should rather kill myself over. It brings up the fact that this religion dictated that I cannot live as the gender I feel I am. It brings up the fact that this religion dictates what I should do in every second. It brings up the fact that this religion tells me that I am superior to every non-Jew, and non-Jews are only born so they could aid us Jews.

I know that some have turned the Jewish religion into a peaceful and happy one. But for me, the good religion and the Chasidic one are irreconcilably intertwined. Now I don’t believe that the should be in front of me should be ripped to shreds since I know the earth doesn’t revolve around me. But how I wish that the Sukkah wasn’t there.
Shloimy Zenwirth is a self-deprecating sophomore. He believes life is just like in the movies. He already has his entire life planned out, it ends with him becoming president of the United States. And he needs to be the most famous person to ever live.  


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